Another cool thing about Key West

Not only are scooters way cool in Key West, but even the bicycles are totally awesome. They're kooky and painted and modified and still totally rad looking. Not kooky clown looking. Kooky funky art looking. Nobody likes clowns. But someone who rides down Duval on a 100% chromed out bicycle is SO southern Florida, so cool.

Sometimes when I can't find things to culturally relate to, being from the world of northeastern cool, dark moody art and tons of personal expression, and I can't believe I'm living in a state where so many people still wear neon tank tops (originals from the 80s) and visors, and there doesn't seem to be much variety, these fancy bicycles pick my spirits right up.

Or when the world seems over populated with Tommy Bahama, let Elvis roll down the street in his leopard prints and totally funked out bicycle. Then the world seems right. One brave local Elvis with Viking Hat balances out all the preppiness around him.
Here's Elvis, sans bicycle.

Conchs are Cool

Conchs, which is what they call the natives in Key West, can do lots of things that regular folks have never even tried. For example, most of them ride scooters. Also, they perform advanced scooter tricks like balancing packages between their feet while driving. Old scooters loaded down with groceries, purchases from K-Mart, or cases of beer. Even grandmas ride scooters, and ladies with dresses on, ladies dressed up for work, of all ages. Sisters ride together, one driving one holding on. Conchs put their pets on scooters, they ride in flip flops and no helmet.

They can park anywhere, they're cool.

They can zip around stuck traffic, that's cool.

The only other place I've been where I've been impressed by scooter culture was Rome, Italy. Since everyone dresses to the nines there, and since traffic congestion is outrageous in the city, you'll see fabulous people on scooters everywhere. Women wear perfect Italian shoes and their clothes flap in the scooter-made wind. They look like angels, only they're wearing lipstick. Italian scooter riders are cool too, but in a more elegant, unattainable way.

Here are some of the amazing objects I've seen on scooters in Key West:

1. fishing poles
2. buckets of bait
3. big dogs
4. parrot on shoulder of driver
5. bulletin board
6. case of beer plus ice
7. an 8-foot long 2x4 from Home Depot

None of the drivers I've seen with these things had any trouble manning the scooters, except one with full bait bucket. He fell off and spilled the bait but that was because he was drunk. That's not cool, but it's funny.

Spearfishing for Hogfish in Key West

Spearfishing for Hogfish, or Hog Fishing as it's sometimes called, is the best way for beginners to learn the basics of spearfishing and freediving. That's because legal-size hogfish can be found in relatively shallow waters off Key West. So, they are easy to get to in a boat, and easy to dive down to. There's another reason hogfish are good targets for beginners: they are pretty dumb and therefore easy to spear.

Hogging requires minimal diving skills since they can be found starting in 10 feet of water. They have to be at least a foot long for them to be legal, which for me is about the length from your spear tip to the end of the gun.  The water skews how big a hogfish really is, so it's hard to judge whether a fish is big enough.  Therefore, it's a good idea to measure a foot on your speargun so you can kind of "measure" them while you're under water, until you get used to judging size.

They like hard bottom, and in 10 feet of water, even on a bad day of visibility, they are pretty easy to spot against the light colors of a hard bottom. They try and camoflouge themselves next to soft coral and rocks, but you can still see them. The big black spot near the back of a hogfish body is a dead giveaway, plus the rooster crown distinguishes them from all other fish in the shallow reef areas.

If you see a hogfish who looks like he might be too small for spearing, then follow him anyway. He might lead you to his bigger cousins swimming nearby. Once you've found a legal-sized hogfish, dive down and get level with him. He will make your job easy for you because he'll wonder what you are and turn sideways to get a good look at you. That's when you shoot. Put your speartip up close and aim for the area just behind his gill plate. Don't wait until he's swimming away from you. When he turns sideways he'll make a good, broad target and that's your moment.

Also keep an eye out for barracuda. They like to try and steal your catch before you can pull up the line and get the fish in your hand. On some parts of the reef, they're so used to spearfishing they'll stalk you and follow you whereever you go if you have a speargun in your hand.

Key West Newspaper

Key West has a couple of newspapers, both online and in print. They all feature local news and many of them are owned by the same company. Today online at keysnews.com, I was trying to read an article and there were so many typos I couldn't understand what I was reading. Here's the text in full:

"The 2004 and 2005 hurricanehurrricaneseasons turned the waters off the Lower Keys into a virtual boat graveyard, as hundreds of vesselsboat littered the beaches and mangrove islands. While many of the vessels have since have been removed, the task is far from complete.Cleaning up nature's work is an expensive undertaking and cost thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to clean up.
AOnecasino boat, the Lady Luck, is one of the most visible examples of the problem. The vessel still remains mired on shallowhigh and dry ongrasstheflats in the Saddlebunch Keys, visible to tourists and commuters traveling on U.S. 1 around off Mmile Mmarker 13.The 100-ton vessel, registered to a Melbourne, Fla.-based company,was sweptblownonto its muddy berththerewhen Hurricane Wilma brushed the Florida Keys in 2005.
and caught fire last summer. Now, nearly two years later, aAproposed agreement between the Monroe Ccounty and the federal government agency that oversees the Florida Keys National Marine Ssanctuary could finally generatebringa plan and the money to remove thefloatingcasino boat and other derelict vessels, which is registered to a Melbourne, Fla. company, called Coin Castle.
Monroe County administrator Tom Willi and Growth Management Director Andrew Trivette's decision to reduce the Marine Resources Division from three people to one person left doubt's in the mind's of Florida Keys Marine Sanctaury officials and others about whether one person could handle that direlect vessel removal, enforce mandatory pump out laws, repair and replace channel markers and other issues the county receives more than $200,000 a year in state boater improvement funds to do.
Sanctuary Superintendent Dave Score sent Willi a letter after the department was dismantled asking for assurance that the work the department was doing would continue. Willi assured he would and planned to hold with local, state and federal government officials about the county's plan to handle marine related issues. However, the meeting was cancelled after it turn into a public forum that had to be advertised.
The Monroe County Commission will vote Wednesday on anpactagreementbetween the county and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), which oversees the sanctuary, "to facilitate cooperation and coordination for the funding and implementation of emergency response and marine salvage efforts within the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary."
The agreement would allow the county to receivebe paidcleanup costspaidthrough a federal government fund that is set up to pay for vessel groundings. The — afund is generated from fines levied against and comes from the owners of boats that have grounded on coral reef, seagrass and other sensitive marine habitat.
The agreement would allow the county and NOAA to partner on these projects —,somethingwhichthey informally have informally done informally in the past.
"This will allow for the ability of funds to be transferred between NOAA and the county for projects like the Lady Luck on an as-needed basis, which have happened in the past," said Sanctuary Superintendent Dave Score said.
A draft plan for removingfor the removal ofLady Luck has been approved, but attorneys are still are working on the details. Estimates by various salvage companies have placed the cost atofmore than $500,000.
"It's going to be very expensive," said Steve Werndli, who is overseeing the project for the sanctuary.
Werndli wcould not release details of the plan, or thethe amount it is going tocost of implementing it,,because of ongoing litigation between NOAA and the vessel's owners.
The proposal comefollowsafter a decision byed agreement also comes afterMonroe County Aadministrator Tom Willi and Growth Management Director Andrew Trivette'sdecided to reduce the county's Marine Resources staffDivisionfrom three people to one person, Senior Marine Planner Rich Jones. Thatemove raised concern amongleft doubt in the mindsofficials at the sof Florida Keys Marine Sanctuary officials and other agenciessabout whether one county employeepersoncanould adequately can managehandlederelict vessel removal, water quality programsissues, themaintenance of channel markers and other projects for whichissuesthe county receives more than $200,000 a year from the in state Bboater Iimprovement Ffunds to do.
Score recently sent Willi a letter after the department was dismantled asking for assurancesthat that the work the downsized department was doing would continue. Willi assured him it would, and said he planned to conductholda meeting with local, state and federal government officials about the county's plan to deal withhandlemarine-related issues. However, the meeting was waslatercancelled after it became apparentturn into a public forumthat it would havehadto be advertised as a public meeting. Willi then said he would meet individually with officials.
County Commissioner and Sanctuary Advisory Council member George Neugent has mixed feelings about the proposed agreement with NOAA.
"I think that they (county Growth Management officials) are trying to show that they are quickly addressing these issues," he County Commissioner and Sanctuary Advisory Council member George Neugent said of the agreement."It serves a purpose for both the sanctuary and the county. But there is so much more that Marine Resources does. We are just understaffed to handle all of the duties. There is no way Rich Jones can do this alone."
Also on Wednesday, the commission will vote on the appointment of John Marston to the Monroe County Planning Commission. Marston willwouldreplace Sherry Popham.
The commission alsowill also vote on amendments to its comprehensive land-use plan. Those amendments thatdeal with preservingmaintainingmarinas and working waterfront. "

Key West Snorkeling

Key West is great in a lot of ways, but for lots of people, it's the coral reef that counts. If what you like is historical architecture and a quaint city and lots of places to eat out and drink at bars, then there are many more cheaper places in the world that will suit your needs. Key West has all this PLUS the reef, the Gulf and the backcountry.

The coral reef in front of Key West is part of North America's only living coral reef, and begins all the way up near Miami and continues out past Key West, to the Dry Tortugas. It's just around six miles to the reef from Key West harbor, making it a short drive. On calmer days, you can get out to the reef for snorkeling, spearfishing, fishing or scuba in a small boat. I've seen flats boats and skiffs make it to the reef on calm days when the ocean is almost as flat as a lake.

For the visitor, snorkeling is the best way to appreciate marine life around Key West. Most beginner snorkelers need very few skills, and snorkel companies in Key West will provide all the gear you need if you take a snorkel excursion while here on vacation. If you've ever gone swimming, then you're half way there. Snorkeling in the ocean on a calm day is easier than swimming in a lake because the salt water helps so much with bouyancy. Plus, you wear a life jacket when you go out on a snorkel trip.

The hardest thing about snorkeling is getting used to the mask and snorkel. If a mask isn't properly worn, it will leak and cause you great misery. If there's a hair under the seal, water can get in. If the mask is too big, you will have trouble making a seal. Best advice for beginner snorkelers is to make sure you get a good fit before jumping into the water. Smooth away all your hair from your face. Put the strap on tight enough so it doesn't slip all around your head. Breath in through your nose and see if the mask tightens around your face, making a seal. Make it secure and tight but no so tight your face hurts. If you're in the water all this is just about impossible and you'll have to get out to fix it.

Neighbors

I've never relished the idea of neighbors. I mean, I mostly have lived in cities where having a neighbor means noise, irritation, and stolen recycling bins. It means cursory glances in the elevator, muffled hellos in the hallway, and strange cooking smells from downstairs. After all, what do we all have in common except the roof over our head?

Key West is totally different. I love my neighbors, and I love hanging out with them. We have lots in common: we all love to get out on the water, we all love to cook great meals from fresh fish, and we all love Key West. You see, most people choose to live here, if they're not born here. To choose to live here is one thing, and then to shell out the dough to actually move here and live here requires determination and lots of financial finagling, if you're not super rich. Therefore, you can reasonable say that Key West people are committed. Which is why there's a greater chance that neighbors will have something in common.

We live in an apartment that's part of a large house that was split up into four units a few years back. Our unit, and our neighbor's unit, face a canal and there's space to put our boats. That right there increases the probability that we would get along: boats, fishing, spearfishing, snorkeling.

Certainly seems that common interests in fishing, watersports, spearfishing and snorkeling seem to draw people together more solidly than say, common interest in working out at the gym. So far, these are really my only two ways of meeting people. Perhaps people are at the gym for so many different reasons, perhaps it's difficult to connect. Plus, you know strange things are going through people's minds at the gym, thoughts related to body image, competition, hating what you see in the mirror, loving too much what you see in the mirror, who really knows. Too complicated, perhaps, for having a simple conversation, too many unkowns, too many vulnerabilities.

"Yeah"

"Yeah" , they chimed in. Stereophonic chastising as I realized my crime: setting myself up on the wrong bicycle in the Friday morning spinning class. I had the misfortune of innocently nabbing the machine reserved by a cranky odd woman who seemed to think I wanted the special silver cycle for myself, at her expense. "I didn't know!" I protested, instinctively raising my arms to cover my head, mocking the group attack the class was launching against me. "Yeah" two people chimed in as the moody woman harangued me, proving they were against this injustice I had leveled against the poor woman. "Sorry! So Sorry! Here you go!" I jumped off the silver cycle, which the woman let me know she had gotten there at 8 am to procure and I had messed it all up.
As I adjusted my rightful older red cycle, and got ready for class, I guess I couldn't really hold it against the moody woman, who perhaps should consider exercising in the afternoon when she's in a better mood. After all, I did steal her bike. What echoed in my ears was the double "Yeah", the schoolyard group bent on proving they were on the right side of the debate, those making sure they were not associated with the loser, the mistaken, the newcomer. "Yeah"???? What was that? So instead of harboring the negativity, I asked the dude on the cycle next to the victimized woman, "Why didn't you say something to me? You watched me... all adjusting my seat...?" And I said it in a self-mocking way, making fun of myself, even mimicking the hand movements of me being all careful and twisting the knobs, and I laughed as I said it. He mumbled something, embarrassed.
But the question remains, why didn't he or the other chimer say anything as they watched me steal the bike? Cowardice, sleepiness, or shyness? But suddenly so brave, awake, unshy when cranky woman bellows at me? Yes, it's the group mentality, sheep following the leader.
But whatever. That's life, and that's definitely people. I will NOT go so far as to say "people suck". But I will say that when you find a gem of a person, someone who's open, honest, and who thinks for him or herself, and doesn't turn into a sheep, then you have found someone that's interesting to talk to and fun to hang out with. Hopefully Key West is full of them, and spinning class is just one of those scenes that brings out the worst in people. We'll see!