Conchs, which is what they call the natives in Key West, can do lots of things that regular folks have never even tried. For example, most of them ride scooters. Also, they perform advanced scooter tricks like balancing packages between their feet while driving. Old scooters loaded down with groceries, purchases from K-Mart, or cases of beer. Even grandmas ride scooters, and ladies with dresses on, ladies dressed up for work, of all ages. Sisters ride together, one driving one holding on. Conchs put their pets on scooters, they ride in flip flops and no helmet.
They can park anywhere, they're cool.
They can zip around stuck traffic, that's cool.
The only other place I've been where I've been impressed by scooter culture was Rome, Italy. Since everyone dresses to the nines there, and since traffic congestion is outrageous in the city, you'll see fabulous people on scooters everywhere. Women wear perfect Italian shoes and their clothes flap in the scooter-made wind. They look like angels, only they're wearing lipstick. Italian scooter riders are cool too, but in a more elegant, unattainable way.
Here are some of the amazing objects I've seen on scooters in Key West:
- fishing poles
- buckets of bait
- big dogs
- parrot on shoulder of driver
- bulletin board
- case of beer plus ice
- an 8-foot long 2x4 from Home Depot
None of the drivers I've seen with these things had any trouble manning the scooters, except one with full bait bucket. He fell off and spilled the bait but that was because he was drunk. That's not cool, but it's funny.
