#10 Leftover Fast Food Napkins - There's a reason people grab 60 napkins when they're at a fast food restaurant and it has nothing to do with being messy eaters. Make sure you always keep at least 20 in stock at all times located in a useless drawer near your sink because sometimes 19 napkins isn't enough.
#9 Leaves - Avid campers, cavemen, vikings and rednecks having being using them as toilet paper for centuries. And yes, I do have an uncle that accidentally wiped his butt with poison ivy leaves when he was a kid and we hear the story every Christmas.
#8 Socks - Every man apartment usually has at least one dirty sock stuck in the corner behind the bathroom door that can be used in a pinch. Sure it's disgusting, which is why they also use the socks they're wearing.
#7 Delivery Menus - When you run out of fast food napkins, you'll usually find the delivery food menus hidden below. Sure it's an uncomfortable ride, but this is the type of material most Russians use as toilet paper every single day.
#6 Plastic Bags - Plastic bags are typically used as toilet paper when someone has a stuck in traffic poo emergency. I'm just saying, I have a friend who used
#5 The Toilet Rug - This involves absolute desparation. You have to be in a bathroom that has no towels, no dirty laundry and you have to be naked with a poo so messy that you can't move. Sure it's nasty but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
#4 The Immediate Shower - This is the most intelligent manuever of them all and most people tend to forget it's an option. Simply remove all articles of clothing, jump in and it's like it never happened.
#3 Your Underwear - Underwear spend they're entire existence near the stuff, so is it really that crazy to use it as toilet paper. Ask most men and I'm sure they'll tell you no.
#2 The Pages Of Your Bathroom Book - You've probably already read the book ten times or it probably sucks anyway, so why not? You can always read the last page before you do it, if it makes you feel any better.
#1 Coffee Filters - It's been a college toilet paper substitute for decades. Sure it feels like you're wiping with sand paper, but you're pretty hard pressed to be in a house or apartment that doesn't have them lying around somewhere.
